The Fisherman and The Monkey

A really scary monkey...

A playful, then very suddenly dark broadside ballad....

In Greenock town I’ve heard it said

A man there lived who to his trade

A fisher was a rummy blade

His freens they cawed him Dunkey O

Now a sailor brither he had got

Wha’d just come hame frae Hottentot

And frae that savage place he brought

A full grown living monkey O

For four lang years ‘twas telt tome

This sailor chiel had been to sea

When he came hame to hae a spree

He wasna’ very funky O

So wi his monkey in a box

At Dunkey’s door he quickly knocks

And the nicht was spent wi sangs and jokes

But he ne’er said he’d got a monkey O

Now ye maun ken  this sailor lad

A sweetheart up in Glasgow had

So to see her next day he would pad

In spite o’ freens or Dunkey O

Early next morning he did rise

As the sun began to climb the skies

Says he Na doubt he’ll get a surprise

When he waukens and twigs the monkey O

Now the monkey thocht like human kin

Twas time some breakfast was brocht in

It then began to yell and whin

And through the room went dancing O

You’d thocht t’was some ane killing pigs

For it yelled and cut some antic riggsut a’ this din and wild uproar

The monkey made upon the floor

The fisherman he loud did snore

‘Twas hard to waken Dunkey O

At length he thocht ‘twas time to rise

And he looked about him wi surprise

For on a table he espies

A thing in the shape o’ a monkey O

Now Dunkey Jumped up to his feet

Like lightning he ran to the street

And twa-three fishermen he did meet

And O but he felt funky O

He telt his story –wi’ ae consent

To Dunkey’s domicile they went

And they swore they’d make the thing repent

Be it a man or a monkey O

Now the monkey at the men did stare

For they strapped him down upon a chair

Says ane-On his face there’s ower much hair

To shave him I’ll no be funky O

Ane o’ ran and got some soap

And made a lather pipin’ hot

While another held him by the throat

Till the fishermen shaved the monkey O

Now the fishermen they laughed like mad

Such fun before they never had

When a wild young chiel whose name was Rab

Proposed to hang the monkey O

Then round it’s neck a rope they threw

And through a cleek the end they drew

And quickly to the riff it flew

For the fishermen hung the monkey O